SOMETIMES IN MARCH

Sometimes in March
The rain is so heavy
Night time refuses to come
Long wait for supper
But she needs one more leg
A tripod stand-pivotal inside-out
The protruding rumbling tummy
Needs palliative touches
The white-robed stethoscope holders
Are lost in thought
Why the sun should refuse to set?
With the bright cloud
Crying all through
…but this child must be born

Sometimes in March
The happenings and happenstances
The inexhaustible vortex of human existences
The variegated events in the tummy
The motley inhabitants of her habitat
The scorching moon
Tomfooleries of various colour
The vagaries of the weather
Vadose occupying its unusual position
Shikaras are no longer flat-bottomed
All conspired against an innocent soul
One thing has no shred of dubitation
The signs are ominous
…but this child must be born

Sometimes in March
No more vaginectomy
Knives and scissors become useless
Stethoscope hanging dutiless
People must hear this
The forest trees must dance naked
The hefty cow must be led by a slaughter
Plates must be plenteous
The edibles must scramble for attention
Food varieties must submit their resumes
People must screen food to eat
For oral cavities
The busy time has come
Anuses must not be left behind
Night must come quickly
The party must begin soon
But why?
…the child is born

That god is their God, not mine!

The greatest crime that man can commit against itself and God is to serve another god. Lucidly put, studies have shown that Islam and Christianity are the two popular religions in Nigeria (apologies to the traditionalists). According to my findings so far, the believers of the two religions are serving the same God which is appearing to them in different forms. The nomenclature ‘God’ is sacred, formed from three letters and perhaps, the biggest of all names in the universe. Put differently, the name remains a mystery till today as to how it came into being. Trust the insatiable human beings coupled with their satanic envious nature, they have succeeded in giving themselves other little gods. Unfortunately, out of their lack of rigorous thinking ability, sheer foolhardiness and psychosis assailing many a god worshipper, these gods have been embellished in the heavily soaked virtue of the real God. What a sacrilege!

Nigerians are interesting people to be with, given the fact that we also live in interesting time. Possibly, I stand to be pilloried; Nigerians may be the most pious people on earth-not even the motley inhabitants of Asia, Caribbean Island and other parts of Africa which were decapitated and decimated by the callous, virulent and ravaging act of slavery called colonialism. The British born most populous black nation, possibly christened by Lord Lugard’s mademoiselle, Flora Shaw in the very heat of one of their innumerable nights of emotional tête-à-têtes as Nigeria, is a force to reckon with in global religious righteousness. From the Northern pole of the equator, through the Eastern axis to the Southern and Western regions of Nigeria, the name God has, with no shred of dubitation, become a household name. Every Tom, Dick, Harry including Samson and Rachael have become used to swearing by the name ‘God’ so as to defend their malicious dispositions and their unholy night and day shindigs. Would they go unpunished? Probably they will not. But I have come to realize that the God they swear with is not the real God, but their god. One wouldn’t have bothered to sign-post this if not for the frequency and consistency of its infelicitous occurrence. It has become a recurrent decimal in the watery mouth of our dear hedonic politicians. They eulogize their god when they rig elections and when they fail in the pursuance of their crude course and crippling sycophancy which put the country on a staggering tripod-stand of ruse.

The memory of the truncated third term monster championed by the Teflon demigod of Owu will linger for a long time. But he shielded himself off the shame by transferring the blame to his god. He posited, “if I had wanted third term, my God would have given me”. That god is his God, not mine because his God has the semblance of god. But the former president should know that he wished for third term even if he had not openly pronounced it. Clearly put, his God, sorry, his god failed to grant his wish. That god cannot be my God! Now the sons, grandsons, daughters and grand-daughters of the inhuman, nay, inglorious and objectionable self-made paterfamilias of the crippling Nigerian society are currently busy re-aligning and forming new political equations that would explore unconventional, path-breaking and innovative approaches to abysmally rig elections come 2011. Very sure, he will keep thanking his god for sparing his political lineage to continue leading the country down the freeway to the valley down below. He often boasts of landmark political, not socio-economic achievements. The consolidation of the largest political party of soulless gangsters in Africa, breeding of electoral mandate scavengers and overseeing political power transition to the docile and placid Insular of Katsina, are among his very many political victories. No doubt, he has a course to ceaselessly give thanks to his god, not mine!

We surely live in interesting country and interesting times. Election riggers also have their gods. When they rig and re-rig elections, they go gaga, gyrating and twisting their waists to the rhythm of stolen mandates, and ultimately bow to praise their gods. Regrettably, these political vampires have so much gained currency in the political front. Such avaricious messiahs, as argued by Idowu Akinlotan, are gifted in acquiring the appurtenances and fripperies of political power but, quite disgusting, are not astute in using them. What is painfully irritating is that election riggers and re-riggers seem to have taken Nigeria as an enabling environment to continually and freely execute their misbegotten political and religion jingoism.

As far as I am concerned, the simplicity and calm nature of the real God should not be taken as docility and placidity, but should be cleverly taken as an opportunity to re-amend broken ways, right the wrongs and re-invite Him to take charge. But if they will continue in their unholy ways, stealing people’s mandates, disrupting the peace of the land, draining the strength of the country and ceaselessly praising their gods for these acts, that god they called their God will not be mine! My message is clear, such individuals, according to Ademola Adesole, are usually graceless and end up as foot notes in the colossal book of human history.

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